Each month, I tackle real questions from the front lines of philanthropy — from donors, fundraisers, and board members alike. With candor and real-world perspective as a major donor, I cut through assumptions, challenge outdated thinking, and offer practical advice to help everyone involved in giving build stronger, more effective relationships.
This month’s questions? Two sides of the same dysfunctional coin.
From a Board Member:
“I’m on the board of a nonprofit, and the Executive Director seems to only want us to fundraise or approve budgets. I have so much more I could offer. How can I be a better partner without overstepping?”
From an Executive Director:
“My board is full of smart, successful people, but they get stuck in operational details instead of focusing on governance and fundraising. How can I help them embrace their proper role?”
Let’s Be Honest: This Isn’t About Capability
It’s about control. And confusion.
Board members feel underused, so they insert themselves where they can. Executive directors feel second-guessed, so they pull the reins tighter. And around and around we go.
Meanwhile, the mission — the whole reason you’re all there — gets lost somewhere in the middle.
Sound familiar?
Board Members: You’re Not There to Run the Place
Yes, you likely could improve operations. That’s not the point.
Your role is governance, strategy, and yes — fundraising. Not because it’s convenient for the organization, but because your voice carries weight in ways staff never will.
If you want to contribute more, start by asking — not assuming:
“Where do you actually need me?”
“What would move the needle most right now?”
And let’s not forget genuinely asking: “How can I help?”
And then — here’s the hard part — stay in your lane once it’s defined.
Showing up with “I could fix this” energy rarely lands the way you think it does. Showing up as a strategic partner? That’s where the magic happens.
Executive Directors: If You Don’t Define the Role, Someone Else Will
If your board is in the weeds, it’s not because they’re bored. It’s because you haven’t given them a better place to focus.
You can’t say “stay out of operations” and then give them nothing meaningful to do besides approve budgets twice a year and write checks.
That’s not a board. That’s a transaction.
If you want engaged, high-functioning board members, you need to:
clearly define expectations
actively direct their energy
and actually invite them into strategic conversations
Otherwise, don’t be surprised when they start rewriting your playbook.
The Bigger Problem No One Talks About
Too many nonprofits treat boards like either:
wallets, or
problems to manage
They’re neither.
A great board is a strategic asset — but only if you treat it like one.
And yes, that requires more communication. More clarity. More honesty. (All things this sector tends to avoid.)
The Bottom Line
Board members: stop trying to run the organization.
Executive directors: stop keeping your board at arm’s length.
Both of you: start acting like you’re on the same team.
Because when you are, fundraising gets easier, strategy gets sharper, and the organization actually moves forward.
And isn’t that the point?
See you in the next edition of Burning Questions.
Inspired by Fahrenheit 451, the classic novel about a world where books are burned to suppress ideas, Philanthropy 451 is about igniting the opposite — sparking bold conversations in a field that too often avoids them. Philanthropy shouldn’t be on fire for the wrong reasons; it should be burning with curiosity, honesty, and change. This newsletter is a place to challenge assumptions, question outdated norms, and reimagine what giving can be when we’re not afraid to turn up the heat.
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