What do donors want, and do we, or should we, care? If we come back from a donor pitch meeting with a gift, haven’t we succeeded?
Isn’t the donor meeting just the means to an end (i.e. the “sale”)? When a fundraiser reports back on a donor meeting, are they congratulated on beginning a relationship with the donor, or do accolades only come based on the binary result — did you get a gift, or not? This common response of relationship being less important than getting a gift is holding us back from the success we’re striving for.
With the ever-stuck (and often declining) donor retention rate (80% of first-time donors don’t give again the next year), we have to ask: what’s the real problem? Is it the donors? Are they difficult people with resources and an abundance of attitude? Do we really need to pander to them, and do or say whatever it takes to get them to give?
Of course not. Everyone has been a donor, of something, at some point in their lives. So it’s important to realize that the vast majority of donors — just like you — are good people wanting to do good. Do we need to make nasty assumptions about them because there have been a few bad actors along the way? How does that make sense?
So what do donors want, anyway? And how do we get them to give, or give more?
Donors want relationships with the organizations they support, not to be manipulated or feel like they’re simply ATMs. Similarly, donors don’t want to be “owned” by nonprofits or expected to give because (a) they have money, or (b) they’ve given before. Donors want to do good and feel good about contributing to something bigger than themselves, and to be part of a community. Like most humans, they want to feel purpose, joy, connection.
Because they want those things doesn’t mean, even remotely, that they expect to be kowtowed to. It’s actually insulting — and counter-productive — to even think that, and a waste of energy on both sides of the equation.
The answer to “getting them to give” must be, then, that it takes magic. Just find the magic switch, and you’re good!
Silly? Of course it is.
As a donor, many nonprofit fundraisers approach me to have a “get to know you” discussion, or to tell me about the great work that their organization does. Sometimes the conversation feels like the fundraiser is on a kind of fishing expedition to see if they can land the big catch of the day. I often sense, during these meetings, that the fundraiser is trying to navigate a maze — “turn left here, or turn right there, turn around and try another path”— trying to find the perfect words or approach that will “make” me donate. At the end of these pitch meetings, I often have the sense that I just wasted an hour or two that I’ll never get back. Not a good feeling.
Even more upsetting is the feeling that all the banter during the meeting — which I thought was about us getting to know each other as individual people who care about doing good — was really just talk to see if they could find my “magic switch”.
A magic switch is the opposite of an authentic relationship. My friend and colleague Jason Lewis got it 100% right when he wrote the following in his recent LinkedIn post:
“Fundraisers, let’s stop blaming our donors for attrition. They’re not fickle. They’re not lazy. They’re not too distracted by TikTok. The problem isn’t them. It’s us. We built a system on the wrong logic.”
Later in the piece, he adds, “And we’ll keep missing the obvious truth: generosity lasts only when it’s experienced as part of a distinct, particular relationship”.
I realize that I’m writing as both a donor and as a nonprofit leader, as both a board member and as a doctoral student. But that really doesn’t matter. We’re all people, and we all want to be heard, seen, and to feel like our lives have purpose.
Remembering that will make your fundraising efforts more successful, but it will also make your fundraising more personally rewarding for you. We all deserve to feel good about being part of this NGO community.
Thank you to everyone who has joined us as a premium subscriber! Your support makes it possible to dive deeper into the conversations shaping the future of philanthropy.
Premium subscribers are invited to our exclusive monthly Power Hour, where I lead thought-provoking discussions with industry leaders on the most pressing topics in giving today. These interactive Zoom sessions are your chance to connect, learn, and collaborate with like-minded changemakers.
Not a premium subscriber yet? Upgrade your subscription now to join the next Power Hour and gain access to all premium content!
As always, these newsletters will remain free of charge—because saving giving starts with everyone.
Thank you for being part of the revolution!
—The Saving Giving Team
Thanks for this generous teaching! The change begins inside each fundraiser— and I’m interested in how the system and its incentives can be changed as well.
This is the way. Excellent post!